Traitorous
by DrawnToDarkness
Summary: Post 1x19. Post-ep for 'The Only Light in the Darkness'. "Her body is a traitor. Her heart is, too."


_Big spoilers for 1x19 so don't read it if you don't wanna know._

* * *

Her body is a traitor. Her heart is, too.

He looks at her with naked longing in his eyes but doesn't move. He knows something has changed; she can tell in the way his glances have changed from being calculating to suspicious.

But Ward's not backing down.

So neither is she.

She's the one who closes the gap between them, the one who kisses him, the one who slips her tongue into his mouth and swallows his moan as her fingers grip the back of his head through his hair.

She's the one who starts to unbutton her shirt and pulls back enough to quirk an eyebrow at him when he lifts his hands to stop her.

It's the hesitation that does it; the flash of something akin to agony in his eyes that convinces her that though he's not and never will be the man she thought he was, there still exists the slightest of chances that one day he might be the man she wants and needs him to be.

Once again, she's the one to bridge the distance between them.

They don't talk about it, but she can see from the relief on his face that maybe he gets that they're not as far apart as he might have thought.

They're not as unalike as they seem.

They're not on the same page, not yet, but they're part of the same book and that's a start.

She kisses him again, and he kisses her back.

Hungrily.

Desperately.

Searchingly.

They're two broken pieces that might, one day, find they make a perfect whole.

The edges need to be smoothed first but Skye is determined they'll get there.

One day.

Not today, though, but that's not going to stop her.

Not when today might be all they have.

* * *

Her body is a traitor. Her heart is, too.

She throws her head back against the pillows as he leaves a trail of kisses along the slender line of her throat, a moan escaping her as she shifts restlessly beneath him on the bed.

They're in his bunk, the plane on autopilot.

Later, she'll question why she led him there instead of any of the other rooms available to them instead.

Her shirt is in the cockpit; his in the hallway outside.

The rest of their clothes, she thinks, might be on the floor at the foot of his bed or maybe near the bar when they stopped to get a drink, which sits untouched on the counter where it was poured.

She knows there'll be consequences for their actions; there's always a price to pay. But she thinks she might be willing to pay it if it means keeping both the family she's found and the man she's sure she's in love with alive.

It'll take time, she knows, to break whatever hold Garrett and Hydra have on him. Time she might not have a lot of but she's willing to try. She _has_ to try.

Skye never has been and never will be a quitter, and giving up on someone she loves is not something she can do.

"Skye –" Ward lifts his head from her collarbone, the expression on his face tortured.

Hesitant again.

He wants this as much as she does – she can feel it as well as see it and knows in her heart he's not that good of an actor.

Knows he was telling her the truth when he said it was different with them, with her.

She thinks of Garrett's words to her, his statement that she'd changed Ward, that she'd given him something – _someone_ – to fight for.

It was that thought she clung to; that thought that gave her hope.

She would give him someone to fight for, and she'd keep fighting herself.

For the team, her family.

For herself.

And for him.

With a smile that isn't forced (even if a part of her thinks it should be), she lets her hand rest against the back of his neck and pulls him close.

* * *

His body is a traitor. His mind is, too. His subconscious reminds him of that as he sleeps.

Victoria Hand.

Eric Koenig.

Agents whose names he doesn't know but whose faces he'll never forget.

He sees them all in his dreams, interspersed with memories of his childhood, his older brother's mocking laugh and John's smug smirk.

His parents.

Ian Quinn.

Raina.

His little brother.

His sister.

FitzSimmons.

Coulson.

May.

Skye.

He sees them all, hears them. The screams and cries of those he killed, the accusations of those he betrayed, and the taunts of those he betrayed them for.

He wakes with a start, with the memory of Skye's glassy eyes and blood stained face in his mind and his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

"It's okay." Her voice surprises him and he starts again, tensing as he realises he's not alone. "Ward. Grant. It's okay."

He lifts his head and sees her, with her hair spread out across his pillow, her eyes dark and cheeks flushed.

Her lips are curled in a smile but there's an edge to it, a glimmer in her eyes that tells him he's not the only player in this warped game of the Clairvoyant's making.

He should call her out on it, show her who's in control of the situation.

That's what Garrett would want him to do, what he would expect him to do.

And what Ward would do if the woman gazing at him wasn't the woman she was.

He hadn't been lying when he told her he didn't want to scare her or that she was – they were - different or that she was bad for him.

All of those things had been true.

With Skye, telling the truth is painful but speaking the lies he weaves is somehow worse.

He closes his eyes briefly only to open them again as the faces of those he's killed come back to haunt him once more.

With an exhale that's as unsteady as he feels, he lowers his head back to its resting place on her chest, and fights to breathe as she lifts a hand to run her fingers through his hair.

His hand rests against her stomach and he tenses when his fingertips encounter raised skin where it should be smooth.

One. Two.

Everlasting scars that pinpoint where Quinn's bullets struck her.

Bullets Garrett ordered him to fire.

Ward looks up again, meets her gaze and for the first time in a long time finds he can hold it without hating himself.

He lets her see it all; everything he's feeling right there and then as his fingers ghost over the flawed skin.

Regret. Remorse. Rage.

Garrett won't hurt her again, he swears, and seals his silent vow by raising himself enough to kiss her.

He tastes tears and isn't sure whether they're his or hers but knows when she wraps herself around him that somehow she understands.

He hadn't been lying when he told her he wanted to stay hidden with her and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist but he knows – they both do – that that's not possible.

SHIELD, what's left of it, or at least Coulson and the team will be after him when they discover the truth.

Garrett will never stop looking for Skye, for the encrypted hard-drive and the secrets she holds.

It's not the right time to be starting something but he knows what's between them started a long time ago, just as he knows that this might be the only time they have.

* * *

_End?_

_I don't even know what this is; I started writing in response to the spoilers I've read throughout the day then fine tuned it after having seen the episode. _


End file.
